Sea of Love

And that is why I'm in a financial pickle. Hello, this is Monday, May 31st, 2010. It's also known as the Memorial Day holiday, here in United States.

Of course, assuming that the one who reads this IS in America, you should already know that.

My, my. It's been so long that I've updated this hereby "blog". It's not that I've forgotten that I started a blog somewhat of months ago. But it's more of the fact that I don't feel the responsibility nor the effort to keep this going on a weekly basis. Heck, even monthly is lucky.

Even more so to the problem (or the excuse), I feel that my real world problems piles up before I get the chance to sit down on my chair, stare at the blank screen of "Questioner of All Things", and start the usual ramblings of whatever goes on in my thick skull.

Lately, I feel as if this world is becoming more and more superficial as time progresses. It is as if strangers and people are all having their own secret conspiracy against one of their own. It just seems that people are becoming more and more like animals; they become savages. In contrast, animals we fear are becoming more and more humane. Well, at least to the point where animals doesn't discriminate nor segregate.

Animals have no use for money. Where people will kill for it.

I feel as if there is no warmth in the chilling pavements of the streets. People everywhere would carry on their shields to parry off other's hostility by day, only to lower their guard when they are back in their homes. The cycle begins when dawn breaks.

There is really no turning away from the two main problems; Poverty and ignorance. Sure, ignorance may be bliss. However, ignorance used as hostility isn't. The kind of ignorance when people spew out slurs of racial remarks as they pass is, very discomforting, to say the least. To me, it doesn't really bug me. I walk out without the shield. Day by day, I come back home, with a body full of arrows of remarks, comments, and insults of hostility. It is because I've become used to it. Used to the fact that the city and its inhabitants will never change.

But

Just as I was about to accept the fact that this world is nothing but cold shoulders, I stumbled upon the old movie "Juno".

I saw this movie probably back in 2009. Everything about that movie was pretty good. Story line, actors, and the hint of innocence really caught my interest. But the one thing that captivated me entirely was definitely the music of the film. It soaked my soul completely.

So I spent an afternoon listening to some of the most aspiring artists I ever listened to. It completely cleansed me. I've got to say, Kimya Dawson is one of THE most beautiful and wonderful artist/song-writer/person that I've ever concluded without even actually meeting that person. She has the most captivating voice that gave life in her songs. Her lyrics has the feeling of carefreeness that sets the background of the rhythm of the guitar. It is as if her songs just comes to life, shakes your soul by the hand, and takes it out for a day of wonder. Her songs inspired me to decide to live my dreams and continue to strive for it. No matter what they may be, (corny moment) if I wish, I would dream. When you dream, they come true.

Seriously, she is a terrific artist.

Because of her, I've gotten the power and energy to move on. Revived.

And then, I stumbled upon yet another great artist/band: "Cat Power".

"Sea of Love" is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. Lyrics so simple yet so right to the point could make you fall in love with this band.

Maybe, I'm not giving them enough credit. So I'll be off, listening to the song a couple of more times.

50 will do.

Relapse

This is why I lack the sense of responsibility. Hello, it is 3:26 AM, Monday the 22nd of March.

I have not written or updated about my life for far too long. Don't misunderstand, it has been on my agenda for the past 2 weeks. I even wrote down little notes about things I need to remember to mention in the next blog. But my mind just tends to slip off. Either that, or my head just says to myself to "take a personal day".

It must've been, what, two weeks now? Since I have last updated, things of ill and gray happened and I haven't been able to pull myself together. And since this IS a blog, I get to rant about all the cooped up stuff that people really gives a rats bum about.

About a few days ago, one of my friends were robbed of his phone on a New York City subway train at approximately 10 pm. He ended up in a hospital because he was trying to resist and got a blow to the face. From the information given, he was then being assaulted by a group.

When I hear the news from a friend of mine about two nights ago, I was shocked. Well, obviously. This, along with all the other things that makes me think, made me realize about the state of New York City. Has security gone really that bad? Getting mugged on a running subway train and being beat by a group of hooligans in a decent early hour? Mind you, this was a Friday night. What I really didn't understand was the fact that there was NOBODY on the cart to stop this. I mean, there could be an empty cart that my friend just unfortunately hopped on. But of all the rotten luck to be robbed and hospitalized on the night of his girlfriend's birthday.

New York City never amazes me to show the true nature of it's rotten core. There really is no slight of glimmering hope, shining through the cracks of it's concrete streets. There aren't many kind souls that would happen to show a helping hand or greet with a kind compliment. New York City itself is sinking. It is sinking for the sadness and griefs of it's hidden citizens. Its exterior glamour of the rich and famous pavement attracts hundreds and thousands to see its glory. But the truth is, the city is not what it used to be.

Another event happened again in the subway train. I was on the way to school, sitting on an empty seat. Suddenly, I realized this one guy was writing a note on a small little index card.

Below is an excerpt from the note I wrote:

"So I was sitting next to this guy on the train while I was on my way to class. I noticed that he was writing a speech of some sort (even though I shouldn't have peeked) and this one line REALLY caught my attention. It said:

(Asians)

'So I noticed that alot of Asian representatives are here tonight. (pause) I couldn't tell whether or not I was in a roast or the dry cleaners.'"

Urgh, typing that quote he wrote made me feel disgusted inside. And yes, he actually wrote "alot". Man, this guy is an idiot.

Does he actually think that a cheesy line like that would be a great ice breaker for whatever the hell he was going to do? It's not as if I am offended or anything. I mean, I'm just shocked at his sorry attempt to squeeze a few laughs. Unless whatever he was attending was the book club for the "How to be a Jackass for Dummies" series, I think that his quacker joke would be the main attraction. If he would've directly try to insult Asians, that would be commendable. But this is just... Tasteless.

I have more sobbing stories of this fair city. But I'll leave the epilogue for some other time, I reckon.

And this week goes to:

Phoenix

In-Formation

After a couple of mind-boggling minutes later, I have resumed. Hello and good morning, blog. It is Friday, March the Fifth, 2010.

So a couple of things that has been puzzling me these past few days. I figured that I should really remember to jot them down before I start to wander off and forget. Again.

One of which that bedazzled me is the wandering of the difference between "Good" and "Nice".

I've been thinking with my noggin and looked through my psychological dictionary and stumbled across something that I've never in my life thought about. The differences of "Good" and "Nice". Surely, we've been though culturally and ethically about vices and virtues. Good and Bad. But I'm pretty sure nobody have yet to think about the importance of "Good" and "Nice".

In my dictation:

Good is a description of a being/thing that is right and just. Whereas Nice is a feeling; a feeling or emotion of something of which makes us feel satisfied.

I have a feeling that a LOT of people mixes the definition of the two together. To many others, feeling good is feeling nice, and vice-versa. Personally, I think it is the way of which peers cram the teachings or Good/Evil, Naughty/Nice onto the person. It's easy to get mixed up, but it's important not to.

Because moral comes into play as well. But let's not open up more worms.

Another thought that popped into my head. It just happened out of thin air today while I was about to snore in my class.

It is the way of how matters complicate as people grow older.

The innocence of a child is so precious. And yet, the society of our world today is so corrupt that it steals the innocence away in an instant. It is truly such a pity that this is a reality. But sadly enough, it is.

That being said, I think that is because it is so much harder to trust, make companions, and true friends as you grow older. It's just too difficult to go in front of somebody blatantly and ask them "will you be my friend". Whereas when you were a child, a simple tea party mate could be your companion or best friend for the rest of your life.

It's a pity as well. Especially for the men of our era. Maybe chivalry is dead, but the men I've seen has be so dumbfound by looking at women as an object of pleasure, as a prey to be devoured. Where friendship is something that can only be shared between the men.

Maybe it is just New York City.

As time goes on.

Experiences = Paranoia.

Toodles

P.S. I should really start putting spotlights of artists, varying from music or art, that I appreciate and love.

And this week, the honor goes to:

Karen O

Snow? Slush? Food???

Today became recognized as one of the greatest snowstorms to ever hit New York City. And boy, were they right.

The level of snow came up to be knee high, or whatever inches it may depict to be. It truly looked catastrophic. But the whiteness of the snow made it seem so serene for me and the others to notice how much trouble it will be to shovel all of it away.

And then, I suddenly realized. I'm not so much as a kid anymore.

The first thing I would've thought of is not how many times I could keep on sledding. Nor the amount of snowballs I could throw. Not even the thought of sipping hot cocoa, watching the snow fall.

But I was worried about how annoying it will be for me to do all that much work.

Shoveling.

It made me thought of how boring I have become. How I could only think of the one possible way to face the roughness of the matter. When I really should be think of the inner smoothness of the matter,

Realizing all of this now made me able to think. And made me take action.

And I'm on my way to shovel. Oh the joy.

Late Start on a New Year

So I've completely, subconsciously, and absentmindedly forgot that I have a blog.

Fail as a blogger? I think so

I think it's more because I don't really have a general direction to point where as to say what my blogs are about. Well, not knowing a single thing about blogs or grammar in general, I guess I should be commended as a brave trooper and trying to do something original.

But nay.

I really do use this a a rant room to be exact. Having less than 2 followers and nobody really giving a living daylight's shining about, I started to lose purpose of this blog. Nor do I feel responsible to keep on updating.

I guess I could do one once in a while. Seriously, do people do this all the time? Ranting about how their day went to the crappers? Or what they let out in the crapper?

I guess I have something exciting to start off the New Year with. Or the old year. Or March

I'm starting a YouTube account. (And no, not just one to watch videos that requires you to be over 18 because that would just be sad)

That's right. I'm jumping on to the vlogging bandwagon! Even though my blogging career is REALLY mediocre to say the least, I would try my best to throw, spit, embarrass, and possibly talk my way to your entertainment.

This is big news. It makes me wanna be excited.

Ok. I am.

But nonetheless, I'll keep on trying to keep this blog alive by feeding it more rants/stories. Maybe random updates of what I find significant of the day.

Oh. One more thing I'm looking forward/excited about.

My friend Kay Tea is moving over to New York for school!!!!! Or at least I thought she told me she is.

Not that anybody knows her, but she's a very good friend of mine and it's SO exciting for me to expect her to escape from the clutches of Georgia and into a bigger hell. New York City

Absolutely no offense meaning to Georgians. Wouldn't say so about the yankees.

On that note, I'm going to end it off right here.

Toodles

Yeah... I really didn't find a way to end my blogs for now... So toodles would have to do

Confusion

Being somebody who always have questions in his mind, I think I came across the biggest one in my life

"What do I want to do with my life?"

I've been talking to my friends and loved one for a while about the topic of "Life's Path" and all I could conclude with is just one simple thing.

Everybody knows what they are doing and what they need to do to get to their goal

But what is a goal? What do you do when you reach that goal. Do you find a new one and start from scratch and keep on going until you kick the bucket? Even if you do go on until you're 90, do you start planning on HOW to kick the bucket?

I don't know what I want in my life. All I know that I DO want is a home. A home that I could go back to. And a family that I could call my own in that home of mine would be nice. 

Now, I'm not trying to sound like a little normal civilian that goes to work for the fifty years of my life and support them for the rest of my life.

It's just...

That sounds the most ideal right now. And I could see why would people strive for money this whole entire time. It's not because money is the root of all evil and that people depends on that inner evil

It's because money does solve a lot of problems.

I think that's it for tonight. For those who does read this, please tell me

"What is your goal?"

Curiosity

So... My aunt threw a tantrum today and screamed about me having AIDS

Which I don't

Well, I hope I don't

I think I really need to get myself checked.